Happy Chinese New Year!!



My good friend Fong tells me that this is the year of the Monkey and I was born in the Year of The Dragon!! This is cool as it means that is why I get so involved with my Multi User Dungeon games...I was born a dragon, ergo I like to play with dragons.

I love it when life ties it all together.

Copyright Theft

The other day I told the Golden Monkey a joke* that I myself had stolen from somewhere. At the time of me telling him I laughed like a drain only to be confronted with a blank unsmiling face.

A couple of days after the event I find he was at band practice and told it to all the band in a cabaret manner and gave a great big belly laugh at it!! Cheeky monkeY!! He must be spanked!!

Gig Review

Cameran got rid of their last singer cos they said they didn't like the way he sang - well Aaron, (previously guitarist - now singer/guitarist) sang with exactly the same inflection and no discernable differences except his voice strained where Georg had screamed. Also with the drums being so tight it's hard to get away with guitar playing that's sloppy cos you are concentrating so hard on the singing bit!!! More static set than usual - I missed the raw energy of previous shows. If they get a new amazing singer they'll be flying. I wasn't impressed at this show though.

Feed My Ego

Check out another piccy of me, I am only putting them up to show how good a snapper Paul is, no really!!!



*
The Joke

-Knock Knock
-Who's there
-Biggish
-Biggish Who
-No thanks!!!

(Geddit?! Biggishwho= Big Issue?!!)

Why Have I Got A Wind Problem?!!

Today I created a mini-jacuzzi in my delicately Lush fragranced bath, (Hot Milk and Karma Bubble Bar cocktail scrummy!!), well, to be honest it was more of a mini tsunami and my poor little boyfriend was nearly drowned/gassed in the event. Probably the last time we shall share bathing water for a while.

My bum is on Stars In Your Eyes and it wants to be Mount Vesuvius please Matthew! What is occurring? Why am I so gaseous, no notable changes in my diet other than chain tea drinking, (we are all tea addicts in this house I have had 6 cups since I arrived home!), so I am baffled as to these sudden unwanted outbursts. You have been warned gentle readers, don't stand too close if you want to keep your eyebrows!


Look How Purdy I Am

I've never been one to be shy, no wallflower me, more of your garish hollyhock type. So now each day for like 8 days I am gonna put up the pictures that one of my best friends took of me in his Tshirts. He is one of the brains behind Terratag which you should check out IMMEDIATELY.

Anyhoo (or Hoo Ha!! as Al Pacino would say) Paul has taken some helluva raunchtastic photos of me which in my Goddess-like-state* I generously impart to you. Check my ass bitches!!



*check next update for definitive definition of my Goddess Complex

I'm With The Band

After years of wanting to read "I'm With The Band" by Pamela Des Barres (ex-girlfriend of Jimmy Page ex-Nanny of Frank Zappa) I finally got
hold of a copy. It was not all that I had dreamt of. Cos I have always had liasons within the music industry as well as a brief flirt with fame (notoriety?!) a là Pamela, I wanted to be able to relate. Maybe there was someone else out there who had lived similar experiences to me and lived to tell the tale.
Sadly this was not to be the case. The book is frothy, and a gloss job never dipping beneath the surface of a celebrity addled LA. Where is your spunk Pamela?!! (excuse unintended double entendre). I'm not like Miss Pamela and she held no answers for me. When I write my book I don't believe I'll be able to stay so sweet and ungrudging. Muck shall be raked and truths shall be bared. I am a disciple of the naked author school of writing.** My book's gonna be fucking excellent and have better descriptions of sex too.

**I just made that up so I can write all about ME in my English Lit dissertation


Heartfelt Acknowledgements

I just wanted to say that recently I have fallen in with one of the kindest and most encouraging groups of people that anyone could dream to have around them. They know who they are and THANK YOU for being around when "the sky has fallen!" as it often does in my drama-queen-tastic life. I don't deserve your many kindnesses*** and friendship but I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart. Thanks dudes.

***It's OK to repeat root words for emphasis David Lodge said so.

Remind me to talk about ACCOUNTABILITY and the INTERNET!!

Trash!

The beautiful golden monkey and I ducked into Trash for a swift slurp of beer, a snoop and a snog and left smartish. We chatted to the lovely Dickon Edwards in the queue to get in and the indomitable* Miller of Cameran, who only accompanied us while we queued as he had to be up early today.

I always feel like I am in a James Bond movie in the ladies toilets at Trash, its all silver and mirrors and a 70's space age vibe with loadsa hot chicks primping and preening. I feel like striding in wearing a dressing gown and a fat long haired cat on my arm announcing,
"Ladies!! Our time has come! To the space ships! 007 won't foil our scheme this time!
Lucky I didn't.....only the beautiful, cool, unemotionless people go to Trash. (Read sense of humour bypass) It's like having to sit through Velvet Goldmine on repeat - but with a "trendy" electronica soundtrack.

Notable exceptions, the aformentioned Dickon, and the irrepressible Matty and Graeme of John Henry & tea fetish fame...nice :)



Indomitable \In*dom"i*ta*ble\, a. [L. indomitabilis; pref. in- not + domitare, intens. fr. domare to tame. See {Tame}.] Not to be subdued; untamable; invincible; as, an indomitable will, courage, animal.

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

My Kingdom For A Blog

Last night due to previous house occurances Sean put two signs on his bedroom door. The first said

WE WOULD NOT
LIKE A CUP
OF TEA
THANKS VERY MUCH

and the second note was a sign with an arrow saying,

MIRA
THIS IS A CUPBOARD
------------>

due to the fact that we always knock to offer them tea when they are *ahem* tenderly otherwise engaged (they are at it like rabbits so it's hard to AVOID knocking when they are not *ahem* being tender). And the second due to the fact that the other night whilst trying to negotiate the way to my bedroom in the dark I mistook the cuboard door for their door and lurched into their room thinking it was mine. I must have got twisted in the darkness and was disorientated!!



The Last Straw

For those of you as yet uninitiated with Last.fm it is a wicked radio station that lets you select what you Like, Hate and Love and then adjusts your playlist accordingly. I LOVE IT!! The only problem is that other people can see what you like and dislike and thereby judge your music taste!! I am terribly torn between wishing to appear "cool" and having to listen to Autreche and on the other hand, exposing my spazzy music taste to allow me to listen to Badfinger and Jellyfish all day!!



Skip This If You Are Easily Bored!

We haven't paid a single gas or leccy bill since we moved in on August 30th - so I went on a little mission today to GET BILLED!!

It was a bit of a pain, *sigh* (long winded!)


* I discovered the last tenants were B.P****S and D.M****R
* I opened a British Gas letter to them which had an account number on it
* I called British Gas and told them we lived there now, could they change
the bill to us? The didnt have our address but could look us up through the
account number I had discovered on the old tenants British Gas bil.
* British Gas said we stopped supplying the flat in June, here is your meter
point reference - call Transco with it and discover who supplies you
* I called Transco who said NPower supplied our gas
* I called NPower, read them the meter point reference and they said we will
bill you from when you moved in.
* I then asked if they also supplied our electricity to which they replied
yes and they will also open an account and send it it to us.
* Additionally, I will call NPower gas tomorrow with our current meter
reading.

But the important thing is that I will no longer be living under the false
impression that I have loads of free cash and overspending - I need to know
where I am at financially or everything will fuck up!! Innit?!!



Gratuitous Sexy Boy Pic



Cute!

(Thanks to all those of you who texted me re Dude! Where's My Car being on TV last night, obviously I knew already from the allaboutashton mailing list, but still - you rock!!)

Household Hijinx!!

Last night Mark and I were playing chasing games around the house in a pre-sexual frenzy when all of a sudden a topless Sean appeared and started to run in the same direction ahead of both myself and Mark.

"You didn't tell me about this!!" I protested to Mark which caused much hilarity! I should really be in standup, or at least buddies with Stephen Fry.