I <3 Paul Gambaccini

It has come to my attention that Mrs Lorretta Beltrami may be reading this blog, if this is the case Hello Mrs B!! You rock and are a very nice lady and I miss you lots but am not sure how to stay in touch without putting you in an awkward position, but lots of love and I always mention you in my prayers,

Reseller or Vendor?

Wow! I'm making a killing on a mobile phone I am selling on eBay.

Praise the Lord Jesus, I am so skint I was gonna have to sell my kids to make ends meet, and poor little Hubris has only just been weaned from my breast!!

You know when you get an email, and the attachment is someone's "funny" job application or a crazy letter that was just so "wacky" that the author of said material got the job/compensation/whatever they requested? Well, I always figured that these were Urban Legends and Not Real...but CHECK this!

We got fined £50 today cos someone in Hackney dumped some rubbish bags, and Hackney Council opened the bags to find the perpetrator and punish them. They found a letter addressed to my boss here and fined us. This is his response below. Its real! I typed it!



Dear (name of person),

OFFENSE CODE 02
Notice of Opportunity to Pay A Fixed Penalty
OFFENDER NAME Hackney Council
ADDRESS Millfields Depot, Millfield Road
LOCATION (where I work)
ON (Date) 24/03/04
DETAILS OF OFFENSE Sending rubbish through my letterbox
FIXED PENALTY FINE £50
Cheques payable to (my boss's name) - I would appreciate the above paid
by return.

In the meantime, to answer your letter, serial number 16616, neither I or any of my staff have been anywhere near East London, I’m glad to say, for four or five years. Secondly we use Westminster Council bin bags. Thirdly I would suggest that you detect the thieves who obviously stole my unwanted post, I for one will not be paying your ludicrous fine. I look forward to seeing you in court.

Yours sincerely,

(my boss's name)

How cool is that?!

In Retrospect


I believe that last night was an umitigated success...

Here is my favourite feedback from it (I hope Ms Apps doesn't mind me quoting her out of context!)

yaaayyyyyyyy! i had FUN!

Highlight of the night: mira hula-hooping to "the ace of spades".

I'm quite sure that this is the first time in the world that anyone has
hulahooped to that track, but now everytime I hear it i'll want MORE hulahooping.


Hulahooping is the rock! you rock! thanks x x x

jo



Hirsuite

During the course of the evening, I straddled Dan Lee, planted my hands firmly on his chest and said
"Did you used to fancy me?"
He looked up shocked faced and replied
"No!"
I immediately sulked. The Goddess Complex is a bitch sometimes!
It was weird, when I planted my hands on his chest, I could feel like a crinkle of something under his tshirt (like when you put your hands in unwound cassette tape) and I realised that he had a hairy chest!!! That was SO surreal to me cos I have NEVER ever been with a hairy chested boy that I can remember apart from maybe once!! Eeeeeek!! Hehehehhe - I like my men smooth with boy like features and bodies.



Drink Of The Evening :- Vodka, lemon & lime

Best Advice Of The Evening :- Fong! NO! (Delivered with a spank to her pert tush!)

Best Lipstick Mark of the Evening :- Fong's Blood Red Kiss on my left breast which Matty mistook for a hickie

I love it when girls smile shyly at me

I got caught out today on Friendster.

Ali gator wrote:
> Now, answer me this... why is a girl like you existing for
> Ashton, but kissin' on the ladies?


It took me a little time to work out how to reply, but I think the following works….

Ok, well to my shame I must admit I am down and outright greedy. I love mushing lips with girls and girlie looking boys and getting my sweets and honey wherever I can.

Lips tasting of beer, cherries, violets, gum, are all good to me. The only mouths I don't like to play with are smokey ones....i should just go lick an ashtray instead!

its all about ashton because I love his playful attitude, and he is kinda annoying - just like me

m x