Retail Tales

Customer service guru and motivational speaker tells tales on Retail..!

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Due to The Unique Way in Which the BBC is Funded...

I catch the lazy BBCi journos relying on STOCK footage for THREE completely unrelated stories!!

Parents win fight for new pool

Swimming pool charges are 'too high'

Pool covers up for naked swimmers

I am severely disappointed. One of the stories is about an amazing swimmingpool in Cambridge which has see through walls so you can see the swimmers underwater from outside. You'd think they'd at least show this. But NO.


Happy Birthday Tristan!


I Was 23 Yesterday!



IS THE THOUGHT OF A UNICORN A REAL THOUGHT?

...and he suddenly understood for the first time what the words 'a real thought' meant; what Hegel meant by defining the Absolute Idea as pure thought thinking about pure thought; what Bishop Berkley meant by denying the reality of the physical world in seeming contradiction of all human experience and common sense; what every detective was secretly attempting to detect, although it was always right out in the open; why he became a detective in the first place; why the universe itself became; why everything;
  and then he forgot it;

Monday, May 10, 2004

This webpage worries me

I had a wonderful weekend!

NOFX on Saturday night with Ms Lara, Wojtek and Jessica, I also bumped in to Joe and Will which is always nice. Joe once told me he had a baby which I believed for about two years, and then I discovered it was a joke.

After this we all went to a crazy Wig & Glasses party in Crouch End where we wandered aimlessly looking for it until we saw some bewigged Australians who had also been invited and by the time we got to said party there were about 20 of us.

I had chickened out of the wig thing but to compromise was wearing a cowboy hat that I'd worn along with a bandana for Cowboys and Indians day at Lush. It seemed to be a hit. Another cowboy hat wearer at the party clad in black leather from head to foot offered me JD from a bottle which I quaffed nervously. He later approached me and I fled. Slash from G'n'R was obviously his idol, and for some reason this made me think of Zoo?!!!! Anyhoo, Little Bear didn't look too impressed and I clung to him tightly.

Watermelon vodka slushees, deadly black cherry vodka jelly and DJs and rooms packed soooooooo tightly you could barely slither past were the trends and it was wicked to be back at a house party. (Last amazing one I went to was in Reading, I will never forget the mother of the host shrieking "Alan STOoOP them, they're going to kill the goldfish!" in high pitched Scottish tones as the evil skaters poured their beer into her garden pond.)

It was a bit TOO packed after some time, so we left and standing outside we realised that we could watch people in the loo. We did this for some time and I laughed guiltily and felt weird at being a disgusting, naughty voyeur but by then I was too pissed and having too much fun to REALLY care.

We got home LATE and I fell asleep and when Little Bear tried to wake me I bit him on the arm! (I was very sleepy and now we know why the saying goes 'Let sleeping dogs lie')

Next day we went to Reading to see my girl friends Jess and Kim and Kim's fiancee Darren. We all sat down to a lovely roast which the Bear missed when he had to get the train to Manchester! Then I visited my parents. My dad has lost it and has extended my pet rabbits run so they have almost half the garden. It was great fun to see them whizzing aboout and doing little jumps in the air and play with them. This makes up for all the time that they had to live in a dingy shed :( The next house I get in London will have to be one with a garden as I miss them so much.

Back in to work today and I am doing research on The Jam. Bear is on his way back to London after playing to 10 people in Manchester last night and has to go BACK to Stowmarket tomorrow. He's mental, but I ain't complaining - it means I get to wake up next to his smiling face and cute body!



PS Props to Sean B who wore a homemade "wig" he had created by cutting up some recycle bags and attaching them to a magenta woolly hat. He said to Little Bear "Think Predator". When we saw him wearing it and after laughing so much we shat our pants, we all thought "Freak!!!"